My ramblings..
This post isn't going to pertain to books or movies. This is just a post of some of my meandering thoughts. So forgive me for my babble and thanks for taking the time to read my babble.
I hope everyone is enjoying this time of year, since it is summer in my part of the country. I know I am quite enjoying this summer even though I have had some ups and downs over the past year. Some of the upsides to this year have been my daughter graduating high school and completing her first year at college. I am thrilled that she is enjoying her college life and education. I sometimes wished I was able to attend a 4 year college and have the experiences she is having, then when I think of that I think I may never have had her or my son. The other great thing is that my son graduated high school this year. I am thrilled that he graduated because he gave us/me a hard time in high school. He always loved school and then high school he just changed. He didn't want to go, he seemed depressed. I never really found out what happened or why he hated school all of a sudden. He finished his schooling by doing online education. I think it was good for him to some extent then other times I think he should have been in the actual classroom. What's done is done, nothing to change now. I just hope he does decide to continue his education because he is a bright person and I know he will be successful at what ever he decides to do.
Another upside to this past year is that I have lost 40 pounds. Yes that is correct. I was astonished when I found out my actual total. Considering I never had a weight problem before in my life to waking up and realizing how unhappy I was with myself and being able to turn things around and start loosing weight. Now I just need to continue with this goal of weight loss so that I can knock some guys socks off again.
Now on to some downsides of this year. I think the biggest downside was last July (2009) a few days after my daughter's graduation party. My husband of 20 years decides to leave me. The way he did it was the cowards way. He did it over the phone. I was with the kids. My daughter and I had just come back from having lunch when I called to see where he was and about what time he would be home. He told me he wasn't coming home. I was shocked to say the very least. My daughter and son heard and saw me crying and I had to tell them.
The thing that hurt me the most was the fact that after I had told my children what he had said, my son left the room and I learned later that he had messaged his dad and asked him if it was his fault. That broke my heart for my child to feel that way. Till this day when I think about it I cry. That message made my husband decide to come home just to put our son at ease and to let them know that it wasn't them but me. My daughter's reaction was tearful and anger at the same time. She wanted answers and yet she was mad at her dad for doing this.
Well to make this a little shorter I will let you know that he said he didn't love me anymore, that I was ugly and fat. He also informed me that he hasn't loved me for awhile. To this day I still don't know if any of that was true or just him trying to make himself feel that what was coming next was okay and that he really wasn't an ass. I found out that there was another woman, younger at that. I really am not sure how old she is, but I believe she is in her late 20's, maybe.
That hurt the most because he left me because some younger, bitch found him attractive. I personally don't think she found him attractive I think she sees him and thinks, unhappy man, with a good job, grown kids so he has to have money. Sorry to inform her but his ass is broke. I was hurt the first time and I still am to this day.
He realized that he still loved me and decided to come back. And let's say that it worked for awhile but then he did something even worse this time around. He took money out of our joint account and gave it to her. Now I usually don't get upset but it was a lot of money and when I asked for money we never had any. That pissed me off even more then him cheating on me. Now all I worry about is if he decides to divorce me how am I going to live on my own and survive. It is very scary and not something I want to experience at this time in my life.
I am at the time in my life when I should be able to enjoy the freedom I now have with the kids being older and preparing them for the real world, but instead I have to worry about them going to college and getting jobs and whether I will have to move in with my dad or someone else just to survive.
Well this post has turned into a very long one and if you do decide to read it I want to say thanks for taking the time and I hope you enjoyed my ramblings. My next one is going to be about a movie that I was not impressed with when I saw it in the movie theater. Happy day all!!
I hope everyone is enjoying this time of year, since it is summer in my part of the country. I know I am quite enjoying this summer even though I have had some ups and downs over the past year. Some of the upsides to this year have been my daughter graduating high school and completing her first year at college. I am thrilled that she is enjoying her college life and education. I sometimes wished I was able to attend a 4 year college and have the experiences she is having, then when I think of that I think I may never have had her or my son. The other great thing is that my son graduated high school this year. I am thrilled that he graduated because he gave us/me a hard time in high school. He always loved school and then high school he just changed. He didn't want to go, he seemed depressed. I never really found out what happened or why he hated school all of a sudden. He finished his schooling by doing online education. I think it was good for him to some extent then other times I think he should have been in the actual classroom. What's done is done, nothing to change now. I just hope he does decide to continue his education because he is a bright person and I know he will be successful at what ever he decides to do.
Another upside to this past year is that I have lost 40 pounds. Yes that is correct. I was astonished when I found out my actual total. Considering I never had a weight problem before in my life to waking up and realizing how unhappy I was with myself and being able to turn things around and start loosing weight. Now I just need to continue with this goal of weight loss so that I can knock some guys socks off again.
Now on to some downsides of this year. I think the biggest downside was last July (2009) a few days after my daughter's graduation party. My husband of 20 years decides to leave me. The way he did it was the cowards way. He did it over the phone. I was with the kids. My daughter and I had just come back from having lunch when I called to see where he was and about what time he would be home. He told me he wasn't coming home. I was shocked to say the very least. My daughter and son heard and saw me crying and I had to tell them.
The thing that hurt me the most was the fact that after I had told my children what he had said, my son left the room and I learned later that he had messaged his dad and asked him if it was his fault. That broke my heart for my child to feel that way. Till this day when I think about it I cry. That message made my husband decide to come home just to put our son at ease and to let them know that it wasn't them but me. My daughter's reaction was tearful and anger at the same time. She wanted answers and yet she was mad at her dad for doing this.
Well to make this a little shorter I will let you know that he said he didn't love me anymore, that I was ugly and fat. He also informed me that he hasn't loved me for awhile. To this day I still don't know if any of that was true or just him trying to make himself feel that what was coming next was okay and that he really wasn't an ass. I found out that there was another woman, younger at that. I really am not sure how old she is, but I believe she is in her late 20's, maybe.
That hurt the most because he left me because some younger, bitch found him attractive. I personally don't think she found him attractive I think she sees him and thinks, unhappy man, with a good job, grown kids so he has to have money. Sorry to inform her but his ass is broke. I was hurt the first time and I still am to this day.
He realized that he still loved me and decided to come back. And let's say that it worked for awhile but then he did something even worse this time around. He took money out of our joint account and gave it to her. Now I usually don't get upset but it was a lot of money and when I asked for money we never had any. That pissed me off even more then him cheating on me. Now all I worry about is if he decides to divorce me how am I going to live on my own and survive. It is very scary and not something I want to experience at this time in my life.
I am at the time in my life when I should be able to enjoy the freedom I now have with the kids being older and preparing them for the real world, but instead I have to worry about them going to college and getting jobs and whether I will have to move in with my dad or someone else just to survive.
Well this post has turned into a very long one and if you do decide to read it I want to say thanks for taking the time and I hope you enjoyed my ramblings. My next one is going to be about a movie that I was not impressed with when I saw it in the movie theater. Happy day all!!
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